#085: Routines are actually rituals of devotion to yourself

On creating routine as a highly intuitive and creative person.

I posted a viral note about how highly intuitive and creative women need routine. And people ate it up. I think it resonated so much because routines seem antithetical to people who are intuitive and creative but deep down we all know that a routine is what our nervous system craves the most: regularity, safety, and stability. Creatives loooove to create on a whim, have ideas sparked spontaneously, and exert creative output in spurts. But the most successful creative people I know sustain it all with a routine. And while the act of creating is inherently unpredictable, we have to reject the idea that creative breakthroughs only appear out of nowhere. They actually show up when you’re consistently doing the work! A routine grounds you in something stable so you can take risks in your work without feeling unmoored in your life. It’s a kind of anchor that allows freedom, not stifles it.

A little background about my work ethic and routine (or lack thereof) prior to my ~realizing things~ and hitting post on that note: as a full-time writer and content creator, I would often groan to my friends and peers that I didn’t have a routine. I actually even envied people who went into an office to clock in and out. (I no longer think this and am perpetually, unequivocally grateful for the flexibility of my job!!!!!) The idea of setting up my day on my terms—deciding when to start work, actually starting the work, and then finishing for the day so I could enjoy leisure—overwhelmed me to the nth degree. I’ve spent many days just lackadaisically checking off basic “to-do” lists without actually creating anything tangible or meaningful. Sometimes, I’d literally just wait for my boyfriend to get home from work so we could hang out. Cute in its own way, but definitely not me actualizing my pent up creative energy or dreams lol. I had all these ideas brimming—what I wanted to write about, or what kind of photo and video content I wanted to create for my audience—but nowhere to put it.

Creativity, I’ve learned, requires a f*ck ton of cognitive fuel. If you’re constantly deciding when to work, where to work, or how to organize your day, you burn energy on logistics instead of ideas. I’ll never forget the short stint in my life where I thought bullet journaling would change everything. I spent more time, energy, and money on bullet journaling supplies and watching YouTube videos on perfectly executed spreads than actually working on the things the bullet journal was supposed to help me do. (My Japanese specialty markers from that period are now well dried up and I want to cry thinking about that version of myself who so desperately wanted routine but could not find it in bullet journaling because my god, my handwriting and ADHD were never set up for that!!)

Usually what sparks a journey into routine is some kind of breaking point, whether personal, spiritual, or practical. For me, it was many things: starting therapy for the first time, turning 30, cutting out negative energy in the form of people who weighed me down, and a newfound independence I had not experienced in my adulthood—being single for the first time since I was 21. Suddenly, a jolt of creative energy filled my entire self as I finally had the space to be indulgent in my creativity, time, and way of simply existing. I now say things like, “who knew you could be so productive when you’re not thinking about someone else?” For the first time in my life, I have a routine that I am confident is sustainable, realistic, and nourishing. My routine has become a vessel for my creativity and sensitivity flourish. It has offloaded those small decisions, those lackadaisical tasks, so my mind is freer to problem-solve, invent, and imagine.

I get to toot my own horn here because I executed twelve social campaigns in the past month. And while I haven’t published anything on my Substack in weeks, I have a backlog of essays, ideas, and plans to carry me through the end of the year with a newfound excitement for creating. Every other area of my work life has flourished with the seeds of new ventures and opportunities firmly planted. I have time and space to cultivate my hobbies, take romantic pleasure in the beauty of the world (important for us creatives!), and continue to practice an intentional way of living. And I have to thank my routine for this. Due to overwhelming demand and “BUT HOW LAURA?”-like responses, perhaps I can help you build a routine, too… because routines are rituals of devotion to yourself and your output.

Start with Anchors, Not a Full Schedule

Try to plan out your day as much as you can, but don’t fret about planning every hour. Instead, choose 2–3 anchor points in your day (e.g., wake-up time, morning creative block, bedtime wind-down). These anchors act as a frame that you can flesh out later.

Example: Wake up at 7 → Have morning coffee and write for 1 hour → Go for a walk in the afternoon → Bed at 10.

Identify Your Creative “Peak Hours”

Pay attention to when you feel most energized and clear—morning, late night, or mid-afternoon. Protect that window for your most creative work and push errands or admin to low-energy times. Your creative window is your dedicated time to let your mind wander and create without distraction.

Build Rituals, Not Just Tasks

Rituals help you “cue” your brain into routine. Small, repeatable actions—like making coffee before writing, lighting a candle before brainstorming, or taking a short walk before editing—signal it’s time to shift gears.

I also find that identifying a secondary flow state practice helps reset your brain and body, so when you return to your main creative work, you’re refreshed instead of frustrated. That could be cleaning, cooking, working out, or even just cuddling your pet for an extended amount of time.

Pick Your Planner

I had to learn the sad way that bullet journaling is not for me. But good old Apple Calendar is. And I hate the way Google Calendar looks. I also had a brief stint with Evernote. My fab friend Larissa, a creator in her 50s, has used the same Louis Vuitton agenda book for over a decade. My friend who runs a very successful restaurant empire has two assistants (one personal, one executive) who text him his schedule every morning with reminders hour by hour. These modes of organization just work person to person. Pick the one that works for you and your budget and stick to it.

Design for Flexibility

A good routine bends but doesn’t break. Plan for travel, late nights, or things not going according to plan. It’s a rhythm! If you miss a day, return the next—momentum matters more than perfection. Striving for perfection never gets us anywhere.

Review & Refine

At the end of each week or month, ask yourself:

• What routines supported me? What did I genuinely like?

• What felt forced or draining? What came naturally?

• What’s one small adjustment I can make?

The system should always be alive, not stagnant. You build and build until you’re set up for a routine that just works.

A note on ADHD…

Not mentioned in all of this is neurodivergence and ADHD, which, quite frankly, is its own thing. I’m still learning how to live with mine—and sensitive to writing about it while I’m in the thick of figuring it out—but I can’t ignore how much it has shaped my relationship with routine. My failure to recognize it earlier meant years of wasted energy berating myself for not being “disciplined enough” or “organized enough,” when in reality my brain just works differently. Sometimes I wonder how much smoother things might have been had I addressed it sooner. But my long, winding journey here—funny and messy as it was—brought me to this understanding.

And maybe, just maybe, a viral little note about routine can help someone else get there too.

In routine and creativity and love,
Laura

Altarpiece, Group X, No. 1 (1915) by Hilma af Klint