#015: 7 noteworthy things I did this week
Plus, the Sephora sale ends today and other things I bought after a big shopping hiatus.
Since my last newsletter, I went to New Mexico and back and I am working on a travel guide for you guys. It is truly my favorite place in the world and while a huge part of me wants to gatekeep this mystical corner of the world, I’ve already revealed too much.
Separately, like so many New Yorkers, I’m still really fucking cold and I’m truly so impatient for spring. I have scheduled storage to pick up my winter wardrobe and I’m well into browsing strictly spring/summer pieces only. And yet, the reality is I keep reaching for my jackets and closed-toe shoes and the sky seems to be in a perpetual state of grayness. It has been a disheartening reality that has prompted me into planning more mini trips until full-fledged summer arrives… This is definitely some form of running away and I don’t know what to make of it. I have a lot of energy right now, despite this feeling of exasperation from a never-ending frigid spring.
I am restless.
Here are 7 things I did this past week to get me by. And a song to set the mood for this liminal space I find myself in:
I finished a beautiful, haunting and heartbreaking autobiographical novel called The Lover by Marguerite Duras. I haven’t read a book in a while that left such an indelible image of a girl coming of age. The book reads like an elliptical, disjointed dream of flipping back and forth through space and time of a young woman in flux, making sense of love, trauma, colonialism and her connection to the world. It takes place in French Indochina in the 1920s and follows an illicit relationship of a young girl and an older Chinese businessman. And while the book has become known for its depiction of sex (think Lolita, but not so problematic because it’s written in the POV of a woman looking back on her life in fragments, rather than man’s POV thru predatory manipulation…), I was more interested in the narrator’s contentious and fraught relationship with her family and the culture fissures of French-colonial Indochine. Further, how the maintenance of a colonialist structure, in the novel, is totally dependent on the regulation of a white woman’s sexuality in relation to a Chinese lover, a rare dynamic I’ve never witnessed before? Their relationship presents a total antithesis to this colonial model so often depicted and exhausted, quite frankly. It’s a short, juicy read that’ll leave you looking back at your own coming of age through faded snapshots of what your brain has decided to hold on to.
I made this Sephora sale shopping list and had it up on my stories for only 24 hours when the sale first went live. I want to re-share it here so it can live until the end of today, which is when the sale ends! Big blow out sales don’t excite me as much as they used to because I feel like sales are always happening. There’s always a discount lurking somewhere on the internet for some event/anniversary/random occasion. But there’s something about the Sephora sale—the way every single product is available at discount—that makes the girlies so excited to try something new, something they’ve been eyeing for a while but never quite actualized. So, aside from the list above, I’m thinking of finally trying the Rare Beauty liquid blush that’s almost sold out. I’m also in my foundation era, really out of sheer boredom of trying almost every tinted moisturizer on the market. But to maybe look a bit more polished coming out of winter. And I’m trying to line my lips more because I liked the way it looked that one time I did.
I went upstate with a group of friends for my friend Lily’s 30th birthday. We stayed at a really beautiful house, which I am obviously linking here, for any and all future trips upstate. It was one of the more intentionnaly-decorated and well-equipped homes I’ve stayed in and perfect for any aesthete looking to get away.
I usually only come upstate with my boyfriend and Kombu, so to be in this setting with a group of friends doing things I would normally do with them was so much fun. As an introvert, any overnight group situation can, at times, be exhausting. This might sound insane to extroverts, but it can truly be daunting to constantly be around people and participating in a group dynamic. But in recent years, I’m learning to lean in to an experience and not make up any pretenses of how a group situation messes with my incessant (and sometimes unhealthy) need to be alone. We had a beautiful lunch at Inness, went grocery shopping at Accord Market, and bought pastries at Black Dot. At the house, we cooked, danced, laughed and reminded ourselves what good company removed from the city could look and feel like. I am once again reminding you to get out, drive upstate and enjoy the outdoors <3
Consistent with the idea of “spring cleaning”, I discovered two organizations to donate my unused or gently used products to: Project Beauty Share and Rise of Broken Women. Both organizations use beauty as a means of empowering women who have suffered from abuse, homelessness and addiction. I don’t even have to explain how the simple act of putting on makeup can do to one’s self-esteem, self-discovery and self-presentation. If you follow me, it’s likely you feel the same way. We love products! We love beauty! It’s a deliberate and fun act! Donating my leftover PR to these organizations is both rewarding and incredibly simple and I urge you all to use this season to prompt us into ridding the things that needlessly take up space in our homes (and minds).
I broke my shopping ban this week on buying going out tops! The going out top has made this liminal space a little more bearable, and for sure making a comeback in the fAsHiOn DiScOuRsE. Whether it’s the excitement of warmer, longer days ahead or the rare occasion I find myself out past 8pm, I want to look hot. Period lol. I recently purchased this 90s-inspired heart shaped tank top I had my eye on for several seasons now… SSENSE just (finally) restocked them in all sizes and you can use ‘US2023’ for 20% off. I’m already imagining pairing the tank with form-fitting straight leg black pants and kitten heels. I also bought this Lemaire top kind of reminiscent of Rick Owens Lilies tops in both color, shape and material. Other things in my shopping list while the SSENSE discount lingers: a sexy bodysuit, a hard-to-keep-in-stock Courrèges tank top, a medieval-core romantic blouse.
I’m listening to music again in a serious way. One of the wilder effects of being on birth control was that I did not care for discovering music the way I used to. And it’s not just me saying this insane statement—it is quite literally scientifically proven to be a thing I’ve learned while reading This Is Your Brain on Birth Control. For the entirety of my six years on the pill, I think I listened to the same six artists on repeat. This is coming from a girl who, at 13, begged her crush to go to an Unknown Mortal Orchestra concert in some dodgy basement in Seoul. I loved music so much! And truly prided myself in my seeking out of new music and artists. What a scary six years to have not loved it like I used to. Basically the science reads: rhythm is a product of the nervous system, and sex hormones absolutely affect our nervous system. Nervous systems that are healthier and better engaged can produce and take in more coordinated, complex rhythms than nervous systems that are less well-put-together (impacted by artificial hormones). This is why so many species use rhythmic displays such as song and dance as a means to attract mates. They tell us something about the individual’s motor control, as well as their self-confidence, strength and creativity, which are traits that “bespeak high genetic quality”. As the author of the book states, “mating effort to these sound cues are driven by sex hormones. Therefore, there is good reason to think that – at least for some women – these things might change on the pill.” As it did for me. I have been off the pill for seven weeks now and this is the music that I discovered this month. Listen in no particular order. Or in this order. As you wish!
I played with baby cows and it was incredibly therapeutic and this is absolutely a thing.
With love,
Laura