#006: Social media isn't bad + 7 noteworthy things I did last week
And we're back!
Since my last newsletter, I went on a little posting hiatus across all platforms and went on vacation!!!! Which feels weird to say because I used to feel guilty for going on trips during the pandemic but as a newly recovered covid patient and someone who hasn’t gone on an overseas trip since the summer, it meant a lot to me. My boyfriend and I went back to St. Martin, which, in my opinion, is the Caribbean’s underdog and probably my best kept secret of a destination.
I’ve seen a ton of people, whether they’re internet people or not, take a break from posting on social media at the start of the year. Not posting in the new year, although extremely fleeting and probably a stand alone kind of event, gave my brain a glimpse into what it feels like to not be constantly uploading content as things happen in real time and watch as the feedback rolls in. I imagine that is the reason why people do it, to feel more pReSeNt and FoCuSeD. I’m not all for making social media breaks a thing. I think the bigger emphasis we put into our online presence or our subsequent lack thereof, the more we take the fun and lightheartedness out of it all. Like, it doesn’t have to be a thing!
Why do humans feel the need to place all things on a good-bad binary? Rhetoric like: you’re addicted to your phone, maybe go on a social media cleanse. You’ve been working too much, get off your electronics. You struggle with living in the present, be more mindful of where you are at this moment in time. If self-improvement is always the goal, we should focus on celebrating self-awareness and embracing the many tensions between our ever-evolving wants and needs instead of chastising certain things as “bad”.
I reject this notion of the good-bad binary, because in most cases, and certainly this one, I can have a desire for both: slow, intentional life (as exhibited during my brief time off social media while vacationing) and the hyper-active grind (as exhibited during my time back in the city). One is not better than the other and one should not have to come at the expense of the other. Everything in life is a phase and sometimes, we only need to do certain things for a while, or a short while, to frame how we want to live moving forward. We go on vacation for a while. We take social media breaks for a while. Approaching most things in life as a phase gives us a new perspective into how we can be more conscious beings. I am addicted to my phone. Lol, that is a fact. But it is not a bad fact! It is a quality of my behavior and not of my identity, and the more self-aware I am about certain qualities I exhibit, the more I can try things out ~for a while~ to feel more in-tune with myself and my surroundings.
Reframing my transient behaviors has deeply changed the way I look at myself, and the way I forgive myself. A day of burning my skin from sleeping out in the sun all day is not a result of being too indulgent or unproductive. It is a result of allowing myself to rest and and be a bum for no reason at all, because it’s just for a while. The same way a day of forgetting to drink water from being glued to my computer screen is not a result of glamorizing the grind. It’s actually anything but. It is a result of maybe sometimes treating my work as a mode of “flow”, which is kind of cool? It’s a phase! Phases in life are great because they are necessarily oppositional to one another, and you can still be you! You can still get things done! And that is something to appreciate.
7 noteworthy things I did last week
Also! Being back in the city doesn’t always have to be “the grind!” The phase I am currently in is slow city living. Slow living in New York can exist, too! I’m in a weird period right now where I can’t really dive into work quite yet because I need to organize some operational kinks, in my head and IRL. Here are some things I did last week that added some texture to my life as I work through those kinks:
I watched the film C’mon C’mon. This is one of those movies that you won’t hear about unless a friend tells you to watch it. I hope I’m that friend. C’mon C’mon is an effortlessly charming film by Mike Mills rendered in black and white and follows a journalist, Johnny (Joaquin Phoenix), as he travels around the country interviewing kids about their futures and their communities. The interviews are heartwarming, heartbreaking, funny and relatable and makes the viewers reflect on the very same questions as if they were being asked to us. Like many adults, including myself, Johnny doesn’t ruminate in the past or the future too much, rather he’s just trying to make it through each day. Remember when I talked about this cyclical day by day way of living? He’s juggling multiple tasks, trying to help a family member in need, showing up to work. It’s when he is asked to temporarily live with and take care of his young nephew, around the same age as the kids he’s interviewing, that he is jolted out of routine and begins to form his own thoughts on the future and his community. There’s no plot, really, in this film, and that’s just fine because some of the best films don’t need one. All it needs is the contemplative passing of beautiful vignettes, homages to New York and endearing interactions that leave you feeling so many things you weren’t confronted with before, like, "Do I want kids now?!”
I started using La Mer’s cream and I think it’s done more to my outlook on winter than it has on my skin. I was graciously gifted a one-pound jar of La Mer’s famous Crème de la Mer this past summer and as ridiculous as it sounds, I didn’t use it until now. The consistency is extremely thick and can come off as tacky if your skin isn’t absolutely parched like it probably is in the winter. Anyways, I depotted a little bit of the cream in an empty container I had, set it aside and sent the rest of the massive jar to Korea, for my mom, sister and dad to use. I never thought about my depotted portion until recently. Since I’ve been back from St. Martin, it hurts to make facial expressions because of how dry my skin is. (More depressing words have never been said.) I’ve been spending an absurd amount of time at home, largely due to the fact that I’m simply too cold to do anything else. It’s been a weird, dark January but expectedly, self-care is always a great source of joy. A skincare routine is enough get me out of bed in the morning and this miracle of a cream, by the pretense of its price and also the fact that my skin seems to drink it up like water, has changed the way I look at this thing I hate called winter. That even in my most depressive slumps, there is always something (or more optimistically, multiple things!) that can make you feel just a little bit better. And you should keep doing those things. This cream lets me make all the facial expressions I want and makes going outside a little less scary. I can go out in the cutting wind and this cream serves as a vigilant companion, a literal protection barrier. So yeah, let this $2,000 moisturizer serve as a metaphor for being optimistic. There is probably a lot of things in your life right now that will help you trudge along. Find them and keep at it. Before you know it, you’ll be warm again.
I ate at Gem for their new seafood menu. Gem is one of those restaurants you book when you know exactly who you want to go with because you know the experience is going to be really special, really cute, really just a good time. My boyfriend took me to Gem last weekend after having talked about it for a while. Going the time that we did felt like a perfect storm: Flynn McGarry (the chef/owner) is a good friend of his, restaurants in general have been slow, we wanted to show up and support, seafood is my calling, this menu is limited for January only… It was a very special time and I hope in this weird month we can indulge in more special times! The tasting menu is modeled after Japanese kaiseki tasting menus so every course was hyper technical and beautifully presented. I wanted to share this because it’s not everyday you can dine in a restaurant that has the look and feel of a warm, familiar living room and eat food that makes you want to write about it. If you love seafood, go.
I rediscovered eBay and am having way too much fun on it. This year, I’m really trying to sell more, buy less. As in, I NEED TO CURB MY SHOPPING ADDICTION AND MAKE SPACE FOR THE CLOTHES I ALREADY HAVE SO I CAN APPRECIATE THEM MORE AND, IN TURN, WEAR THEM MORE. eBay remains to be the holy grail of marketplaces. It’s straightforward, there’s no sexy marketing to mask its high fees and and there are sooooo many treasures. You can get really specific into what you’re looking for and that’s how I found the vintage Jil Sander leather jacket of my dreams, vintage Levi’s finally long enough to gather at the bottom of my 5’9 self’s long legs and the Miu Miu Kisses tee fashion girls love to wear. But since I’m also trying to curb my shopping addiction… I’ve also become an avid seller and made close to $900 this month in selling unwanted items that now have loving homes!!! Seriously, nothing feels better. Being a seller on eBay feels like a full time job between the photo taking, uploading, bargaining and packaging, but the end feeling of participating in the OG vessel of the sharing economy makes it all worth it.
I took a preliminary meeting with financial advisors. This is a big one for me. Money has always scared me. But money has also invigorated me. And I don’t think that’s a bad thing to say!!!! People need to talk about financial health more and maybe if we did, we all wouldn’t be so lost when tax season comes around, when things like NFTs become a part of our daily lexicon, when your “friend” comes home with a new designer bag????? I want to understand money better this year and how to make more of it and how to preserve more of it, too. For the first time in my life, I feel financially secure and this is a feeling I only want to expand on. My new financial advisors are setting me up with valuable people and resources to help me ~expand~ and I can’t wait to no longer feel left out. I’ll be updating how this goes because I want us all to be money-fluent and some of you have actually messaged me about how I invest. What are some of the ways you guys stay on top of your finances and long-term goals? How can I help talk about these things?
I started bullet journaling again. While I am obsessive with my iCal, there’s nothing like writing something down in paper. I used to rely solely on my bullet journal for completing tasks and then opted for an all-digitized version instead last year. This year, I’m getting back into bullet journaling and it’s made me feel less anxious about accomplishing tasks. Making pretty lists with my colorful markers and pen and physically crossing them off make life feel like a fun, easygoing game. I love my dotted LEUCHTTURM1917 notebook. It’s the bullet journal that started it all. Dotted lines make drawing and custom planning more organic and the 100 gsm planner lets you use pretty much any pen or marker you desire.
I reached out to friends to hang out. This is only noteworthy because I’m way too comfortable and good at being by myself in the depths of winter. Especially so when I frame it as a phase or a temporary way of living preceded and/or followed by bouts of hyper-socializing. I want to continue to nurture the friendships that are most fulfilling and endearing to me and show up for these people. How are you showing up for your people and letting them know you love and appreciate them?
More from me, soon!!
Laura
